Almost two years ago I lost one of my key muses, she was beautiful and full of life until she wasnt. everyday I grasp at art and try to locate the will to draw and create and most days I spend it staring at a blank page trying to will the art gods to speak to me. Some days are worse than others where a great sadness washes over me and I find myself missing her more than I ever thought I would. I think when I lost my mom a part of my artist soul went with her and I gave up....giving into the demon that is artist block. Some days I can sketch and some times even finish an ink illustration.....but I long for the beauty I used to create in color or in pencil and I just stare at the illustrations hoping and praying they will spring to life through the magic of my pencils, pastels and inks.
Will I ever find another muse or have they abandoned me for good? These are questions I struggle with on a daily bases and perhaps one day the answer will come...just not today.
